Someone told me something that spoke a lot of truth and helped me to understand myself a little bit better. She said, “You’ve lived a lot of life in a short amount of time.”
She didn’t mean that I had tapped into the fourth dimension and experienced time travel nor did she mean that I was some reincarnation of Benjamin Button.
She meant that in the twenty six years I’ve existed on this planet I’ve already driven in and out of many dark tunnels. Overcome many hurdles.
Many twisted roads up the mountain to desolate, foreign places.
In looking back on the hardest experiences, the one lesson I can soundly take from it all is to:
T r u s t Y o u r s e l f
There were many times I looked passed my gut feeling. Even many more times I made a decision my heart was not 100% for, but went with it anyway for a gazillion reasons that had nothing to do with how I felt.
The outcome of ignoring my gut was usually (not always) bad and didn’t resulted in what I wanted. I moved to places I didn’t want to move. I dated people I didn’t want to date. I said things I didn’t want to say and did things I didn’t want to do. Whether it was because of peer pressure, other peoples “advice” or a personal need NOT to go against the heard, for some reason I wasn’t listening to myself. As a result, I wasn’t happy with the choices that started to lay before me.
“Trusting yourself means staying True to Yourself
even in the hardest of times.”
This may not go for everyone, in fact it doesn’t. Some people have poor judgement and even worse insight into their actions; you know who you are. But for those who have a good head on their shoulders and just need an extra push to follow their instincts, this is for you.
“No one should make any recommendations
for anyone else unless they are that person’s
religious adviser, therapist, close friend or close family.”
Over the years, I’ve developed a good relationship with my gut instincts. I allow them to be at the forefront of my choices, even if i don’t know why. I didn’t want to at first, it seemed too risky. Yet, over time I’ve slowly given it the opportunity to define my choices, even if I’m apprehensive about the outcome.
What usually happens is an “YES!” moment. Something good. Something that would have never happened if I didn’t take the chance. When I listen to my gut, I’m satisfied. Glad I listened. Even if the outcome isn’t favorable.
And of course, it not always is. I’m smart, but I’m not psychic. Sometimes I’m wrong. I fail and discover my gut was off. Still, the point is that I’m not angry. I don’t regret trusting myself. Truly, I just embrace it because I would rather trust myself, take a chance on my instinct then to make a decision I wasn’t sure about and live with an ugly outcome.
My instinct is the strongest relationship I have. I trust it.
I trust myself.
Because, for me, there’s nothing worse than an accurate instinct gone unnoticed.
♦ ♦ ♦
(Disclosure: Seek professional guidance if you are struggling with domestic violence. Do not act irrationally.)
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