Ironically, Moving Towards Happiness can feel like a miserable task. Or at the very least it seems to be a difficult and confusing path forcing many to simply give up along the way. Well, nothing worth having comes at any easy cost.
T h e s a m e i s t r u e f o r h a p p i n e s s .
Happy is a concept I’ve touched on very strongly and vividly in my up coming book The Third Return ( It’s really coming soon!) One, I believe, most important to include in my story in order to come a little closer in understanding violence and why woman (men too) might choose to stay with an abuser.
Looking back on Mom’s many attempts to move towards her own happiness has ignited a thriving passion in me to allow it, breathe it and feel it in everything I decide to do in my life. As you’ll find throughout my story, underneath Mom’s every decision was really an attempt to move towards happiness. She tried to make it apart of our lives and keep it there if he, or anyone, threatened it.
Without knowing it, she was showing me to choose happiness over fear. Now years later in my 20s, happiness is at the forefront of who I am. It didn’t always use to be, but it is now. This has left me to wonder just how that happened. We understand that happiness is important, right? We must. Since everything we ever try to do with our lives is a relentless effort to keep it, attain it or create it. Somehow.
In the moments when our decisions are not underlined with love, perhaps with fear, resentment or jealousy, then the outcomes turn out to be dripping with the same emotional state put into them. With fear, betrayal, guilt, resentment or jealousy becoming the “I told you so” voice we all initially try to ignore. In all of this, I mean this … if true happiness is not the reason you are doing what you’re doing, then
w h y a r e
y o u d o i n g i t ?
Why are you exerting effort into something that isn’t making your heart’s cup overflow? Something that isn’t freeing the true you within yourself?
To be fair, let’s say you don’t know how to do this. Maybe, in the beginnings of adulthood you believed certain people, places or things would make you happy because in life, yes, happiness is trial and error. Lets say that whatever you did, or didn’t do (i.e. stealing that money, starting that new relationship, moving into that new house, getting that new car, taking that vacation, doing those drugs) which has wasted so much of your energy has been realized to be a mistake. Well, then if that is the case and it is no longer bringing you true happiness, true bliss, true freedom then why have you continued to engage it? Why is it still going on in your life? Like a house guest who’s overstayed their welcome; why are you still it (whatever it may be) continue to dwell? Whether inside you or around you, makes no difference. Why is it still happening?
At some point in our lives as much as we’d like to, we can no longer pretend that we don’t know what the problem is. Eventually, you know that the new money, relationship, house, car, vacation, drugs isn’t making you happy. Deep down inside, you might have even known it never would. Fear not! Life is kind and forgiving. It will give us several hundred chances to get it right and grow.
After we realize the problem, what’s next? We understand that the “thing” we were using as a cover up can no longer be used, so what do we do? Some will continue their charade of pretending. Others will change.
Often times when we decide to change, we score; finding the thing that lasts forever. In many cases however, we repeat the same cycle. Go back to the same relationship, buy another, car, another house, take another vacation, try different drugs. Why? Life is only going to give you so many chances to get things right, so …
W a k e U p & F o c u s P e o p l e .
Many of us have a terrible habit of getting in our own way. Almost always really. It’s true, just accept it. Whether angry, prideful, disappointed, guilty; it all gets in the way.
There can be a plethora of reasons why you’re not finding happiness, but to save time, one important reason I believe is because we’re stuck on the belief that people, places or things are suppose to bring us happiness. Mindlessly, we place our hopes on the likelihood that something or someone will deliver happiness to us instead, of coming to love ourselves first: mistake number one.
Second mistake: believing that something as valuable as happiness even exists in the shape of a person, place or thing (anything). C’mon.
Remember when I said sometimes we score and find the thing that last forever? Well, there’s no single answer as to what that is because there’s only one you and
H a p p i n e s s i s y o u r j o u r n e y t o YOU;
something only for you to find. Not everything that works for Jenny is going to work for Sarah. And what makes John shine, will make Jim wants to jump from a cliff. Take this beautiful soul for example. Lighting her own torch on the path of happy is Shay http://www.shayslifeoflemons.com.
I can’t apologize if you’ve read thus far and thought some profound answer would await at the end. You had the answer within you before you started reading. You’re your own answer. Embrace that! It’s beautiful. Stay true to yourself and you’ll see. Eliminate the pile of garbage and cobwebs that are blocking your happy path and go! Go find YOU! Try something new. Failed? Try again. Continue seeking to understand yourself, your heart, on the deepest of levels. It’s not complicated.
H a p p y i s H a p p y ; n o t h i n g e l s e.